Tuesday, January 31, 2006

If Babies Could Fly

1. They would fly up to the ceiling. You would have to get the broom out and hussle them down from there. This could prove difficult during the "terrible two's" period.

2. You would most certainly be dive bombed by the now hazardous flying baby. If you were wearing a favourite hat, perhaps decorated by a favourite aunt, then said hat could end up being used as a toilet or worse.

3. An open window could spell disaster, the baby would surely seek to go for a brisk jaunt down the street, urinating on neighbours and frightening timid pets. This could mean bad things for your social life too: no more invitations to neighbourhood Christmas drinks or borrowing lawnmowers for you.

4. On a more positive note, the baby could be released into the house of a rich, elderly, horrible person. The baby could destroy fine crystal and shatter chandeliers, before imitating an angel and giving the rich, elderly horrible person a possible brain seizure.


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